Running Mind Games

So, I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about my running. The p90x has definitely made me stronger and physically I am definitely able to run longer, harder, and with less tiredness. Now my problem seems to be my mind. I tried to explain this to Craig the other night (and I think that I might have even talked about it here at one time or another)...I have a mental roadblock that I am not sure how to get over. It is a roadblock that seems to tell me that if I am getting the least bit tired, I should stop and walk and I hate it. I went for a fairly short run the other day (outside) and it happened about a mile in. I stopped and walked...then I asked myself why I was walking and started running again. I don't know where the mental block comes from and I don't know how to fix it. C's answer was just to not walk. Yep, I get that but how do I "just not walk" when my mind tells me that I should. How do I make it be quiet? I think that it is hard for someone who doesn't have this issue to understand. Some people can just decide not to do something and they won't. C is that type of person and always has been. I am not. I think that this is evidenced by my need to have a race to train for in order to regularly run or p90x to regularly do toning/weight lifting and by the fact that I know I shouldn't snack but still do. Just saying I won't do it doesn't work for me. I need another plan. I looked up mind games and running and found that I am not alone in this little problem. One person described the feeling so perfectly that I felt like they were inside my own head. They talked about the logic mind and how it knows that you can logically and physically do the run. I KNOW that. I KNOW that I can run 13 or even 26 miles. I have done it no less than 6 times (13 miles) and 3 times (26 miles). It isn't as though I can't do it. They also talked about how the emotional mind is always trying to argue with the logical mind (you should slow down because you will get worn out, is that my knee hurting, am I breathing right, am I sluggish, did I drink enough water today, etc). My biggest trigger/obstacle is time. I am not sure I can adequately explain this because C certainly didn't seem to get it the other night. I can't NOT look at my time. I can't run without knowing how far I went and how long it took me. I also can't seem to stop looing down at the ipod (and Nike+) to see what my time is as I go...this causes me to figure out my pace an whether it will be possible to "do well" that day or not. I get so distracted by it that I think I end up doing worse. I think that I look at it before I have really warmed up and get disappointed and then sort of give up before I have really gotten a chance to get a good run in. I have tried to tell myself that I can't look at it until a certain point (5 songs in, etc) but it just doesn't work. I cheated the other day and looked at it 3 songs in and was a little disappointed. If I don't take it at all, I will not have the motivation because I will not know if I am improving. C and I decided that I should put a piece of tape over the display where the time will show up. Then I can know how far I have gone but I can't know my time. If I don't know my time then I will maybe try to push to get the best time that I can because if I feel good, I will assume I am doing well.

I know you guys probably think I am insane after writing all of this and I know that some of you are naturally good runners and fall into the "just do it" category but for those of you who don't. What sorts of mind games do you play with yourself while running (or exercise in general) that help you to check out so you don't focus on the fact that you are running? I am thinking that I might try to get some new music and focus on that but it doesn't come naturally to me. Music to me is the soundtrack of my life. Even though I might be singing along, I can rarely tell you what song I just sang. It isn't a conscience thing that I focus on like a lot of people. I think that a running partner would help a lot of this but I am too much slower than Ali and Mel so I can't run with them...they win our age category in races for goodness sake. I might try to find someone else but not sure who. I did join the running club so maybe I will find someone that way. I need someone a little faster than me but not so much faster that I can't keep up. One other idea that I read was as simple as starting to count your steps. The author said that by counting the steps they stopped focusing on the running and by the time they knew it their run was over. That sounds like something that might work for me...funny.

It is currently sleeting here but if that lets up I might try out one of my new theories later today. If not, I think the weather should be better tomorrow. Would love any suggestions that you have!