I knew the first week or two when everyone was asking how it was here and I replied "good" that it would end. Truthfully when I moved here it was hard to find anything wrong with it here. I fell right into a routine and I travel so much for work that I am used to being in new and different places. It is just what I do. Things with Craig have been good, great, actually. I feel like we can finally have a normal relationship...BUT....I miss my girlfriends. I knew that this would be the hardest part of moving here. I know I will meet people here but how do you replace friends that you have had for 10 plus years? I know I can't replace them at all, but how do I even find subs? I feel like I am going to have to go through all that awkward first date stuff with girls...you know, all the silly small talk that I hate. Trying to figure out who I can trust and how do you even begin to learn what people are like when you meet them as adults and haven't been with them through all their "growing"? I guess I have very few friends that aren't from school and aren't people that I have been through at least something with.....
This was all brought on by the fact that KNOTB is going on tour again and they are coming here but no one to go with (not that I really need to go again but I at least would have normally emailed Morgan and Dudley). I have a couple of things planned like signing up for a sewing class, looking for places to volunteer, looked online at meetup.com to see if there was anything interesting, and thinking about joining the photography club. That is probably all old people though. I know I should probably find the DG chapter here but part of me just dreads it all because I know I can't replace the friends that I have, I know it will be awkward and I just want a girl to watch a chick flick with and to hang out with. My cousin's wife is sweet but she has two boys (10 year old with Downs Syndrome and an 8 year old full of energy) that she wants to spend time with and she is over an hour away.
I know it will only be made worse by the fact that just as I get sick of having no girlfriends is about the time that I go back to Atlanta (Yay, 8 days)...which is good cause I get to see you guys but bad because it will not help the situation here when I am so comfortable with you guys and not with anyone here.
So, for you ladies....a few I can think of, who moved to new cities...how did you find your girlfriends?
This did cheer me up a bit though...if you guys want to see him play again, and he gets drafted here, you know where I am :-)
PS: Another reason I am feeling down today....my zipper on my jeans broke the first time I went to the bathroom this morning...came off its track so all day I have tried to cover my zipper....another point for being in a trailer by myself. And, at least that made you guys laugh after this downer post. I promise a happier one later...I have been very crafty lately :-)
7 months ago
7 comments:
My advice? Don't try to compare the new friends to the old. It just doesn't work. You were brand-new friends with everyone in Atlanta once in your life as well, and you built those friendships slowly. Definitely contact DG, I met my friend Ansley and my shore housemates through there. I didn't end up being friends with ALL of the people I met there, but worst-case scenario was always that if I went to an event, I may not meet anyone and I'd still feel better for going. It's like working out, you can't expect immediate results, and you get out of it what you put into it. Also, I know it's weird, but put the word out there - tell people you work with or people you know to "fix you up" with people to hang out with. Chances are they're looking for new faces too :)
Good luck though, and keep at it, it'll pay off.
What about Craig's friends? Do they have wives/girlfriends that yall could go out with & meet other girls that way (or if he has any friend-girls of his own)? DG is definitely an option, but you kind of have to be willing to go at that solo...
Oh, good luck, by the way. :)
Those are good suggestions. I got the name of the girl with the Dayton Alumnae group so we will see on that front. Also thinking of starting a photography group on meetup.com.
Most of Craig's friends are his soccer friends and they are all a bit older than me. I wouldn't mind going to dinner with them or you know whatever but I don't think that they are the kind of girls that I could call up to go see a movie with if you know what I mean. He has a couple girl friends (one being an ex-girlfriend who is never going to like me). Actually he has three really good friends..one a gay guy who moved to go to Med School, one a guy who lives in Cincinnati and is single (photographer though so that could be fun) and the other is the girl that gave me the flowers. She is always nice on email and stuff but when I have seen her a couple times at his soccer (before I lived here) she wasn't as easy to talk to but they are really good friends and became friends around the time that we broke up and I used to get upset when he was with her so maybe she feels awkward. It is all water under the bridge now and was never anything anyway, but maybe she still thinks that I get upset or something. I am not sure that we have that much in common....I think that I am a bit more girly than some of the girls he knows (not that I am that bad, but I do like cute things). Also, Craig is 7 years older than me so I just have this idea in my head that his friends probably would find me a bit immature and that is probably true but I will always be that way...it is just me. I still like to dress up for Halloween (that kind of mature, not like I still roll people's houses or anything).
Also, I kind of want my own friends, ones that Craig doesn't introduce me to. I don't know why but it just seems like I should.
Molly is probably right in that it will take time....hopefully it will work. I will keep you guys updated.
Sorry that you have to go through this - it is tough to make new friends. Maybe a running group or something? Does Craig go to church? Is church an option? At least you come to the ATL once a month!
It takes time. The sewing class may be a lot more fun then you are thinking - most older people probably already know how. My knitting class in Atlanta was mostly young people with only one much older person who was hoping for a refresher.
DG alum group may be really good or not. I would definitely try it with an open mind. Nashville had a young, but small group and I made a friend I could do things with there. I still have not been to a single Charlotte thing. The group seems really small and much older.
I would also give Craig's friends another chance. It is always nice to have "couple friends" that you can discuss together and have fun going out with all together. Even if they are older it sounds like the soccer group is a pretty close group for him and it could be very much worth the effort.
I like the idea of a running group. You should definitely try to join something or take classes that involve things you either already enjoy or have always wanted to try (cooking, language, etc.).
Accept every invitation. Even if you are not crazy about the person who invites you, you may meet other pretty cool people there.
And finally, don't stress or get to down about it. Don't rush anything. Be your usual cheerful self and you will eventually meet similar people.
It couldn't hurt to meet people through Craig...they may in turn introduce you to other folks who don't even know him or their group who might be even better friends, you know? When I moved to Philly I hung out with my boyfriend at the time's friends and I'm still friends with a lot of them - and I don't even talk to the ex anymore.
What about hosting a party or something? Throw a big old costume or theme party at your apartment and tell everyone that they have to bring 3 girl friends. The guys will show up purely for the women and I GUARANTEE you there's at least 10 other girls in your exact same situation, where they don't know where to meet people.
I am not a churchgoer, but I agree with Carrie's idea - you can always go to one of the adult fellowship things where it's not so Bible-centered if that throws you off, and you don't have that whole "what if they're going to ask me to church" fear like those people were at UGA...because you're already AT church! HA!
Oh, and one more thing...borrow Craig's dog and go to the dog park. The people congregate while the dogs play.
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